Deep inside

its killing me.


Ya Allah, everything that happen in my life seems like hmm. Hmm again, i cried all over again. Weak ? huh ya im weak person. Cant to handle my feeling by myself. Like huh. Every night, when i cant sleep , i cry and cry and cry when thinking about my past , future , my sins , my probs,  bout you, bout everyone in my life. Harder, ya its getting harder . Idk why i must cry but nowadays , i mean since a few months ago , crying already being my lovely fantastic habit , hobby or wtv you want to call it. Like adsbghjj --' ikr. . It just be like that and that and that. Aku selalu bgtahu kat diri sendiri , "Bella you can do it. Stay positive. Everything gonna be okay. Kau kuat . Ya kau kena kuat. You must ! " then i will stop crying but in few seconds , the tears cant stop streaming down my face. non stop.



last night , when i called that person, from the beginning of the conversation , i cried yeah .But , hmm its different . Kalau sebelum aku nangis mesti awal awal dia da  perasan and ask me, " are you crying ? " . What such a good friend. Love you friend. But , kali ni, bila da nak habis conversation  aku dah tak tahan sangat aku terus nangis kuat kuat , i mean like ade bunyi nangis la kan. Then baru dia perasan yg aku tgh nangis... (( baru perasan wehh )) baru okay baru. Ohh man, seems like you dont know me anymore. Sedih kuasa infiniti. Yeah. Now you already change and me too. And you dont know me anymore..... oh why. I cant stop crying when thinking that miserable stuff. Just stop bella. Y're killing yourself . just die . no need to hurt yourself.



hmm, byknya bende yang aku simpan ,pendam, sampai kan aku jadi macam ni. tahpape annoying. and wtv. why bella why? ahh uhh ehh. Gila right? Allah..

























hmm cant stop crying . bbye . wish me luck in PMR . sorry for everything okay .

Assalamualaikum .